A quiet room. An empty room. A gentle breeze. The soft rustling of leaves. Sunshine dappling across my face. A quiet place. I need a quiet place. I need a Japanese Temple.
My agitation level has red lined since yesterday afternoon and it has not dropped. Everything irritates me. Writing this blog is irritating me. I can't be irritable for no reason. I can't be irritable, I have kids to take care of. They don't need to be snapped at for no reason. Anxiety is creeping in as well. The sudden, breath-sucking, feeling of dread. I want to take a Xanax but I can't fall asleep with kids running around getting territorial with each other. I find myself pacing, looking for anything to keep me busy. I find myself staring out a window, sitting still so not to agitate anything on my body. My skin crawls sometimes. Sounds are too loud. Movement becomes too much. I need to call my therapist Steve. Maybe if I talk this out I might feel a bit in control or at least feel a little better. Writing this out helps. I'm going to go hide in my bed with my soft pillow and gentle blow of the fan.
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