Quiet house, loud concert in my head

I need loud, I need movement, I need music, I need Linkin Park, I need to be turned on, I need speed, I need something to release this energy. I have been pretty boring for a month. That's why June only has a couple of entries. Although I did feel as though my mania has been peeking out lately. I've been good with my meds, trying to remember to take them earlier than 10pm. But I have begun to notice that by night time my energy spikes, probably from my meds leaving my system by that time. Zyprexa is temporary, it doesn't linger in the system like lithium or Lamictal. I so love Linkin Park. They just came out with their new album titled "Living Things". I'm listening to it right now. Much more synthesized sounds. I just ordered the fifth book of The Mortal Instruments, :The City of Lost Souls". Something to look forward to. I like getting presents in the mail. I also bought the two prequels to the series. Amylia, my sister, says they are good. Why not buy them. Hopefully I will get sucked in. I really want to let loose but the rational side of me is trying to reason with me. Maybe I should take an Ambien tonight. I become high and I feel so creative, although I do have a hard time directing my creativity. I know once I start painting or sculpting, I don't want to be interrupted and with three kids, I get interrupted frequently and I end up yelling at them. So to prevent yelling at them, I don't start painting, then I'm left with this creative energy frustrated because it can't be released. I wait til night time but by the time the kids are finally settled down, it's time to do my bedtime routine. That advice to go to bed the same time every night. Screw that. I like my night time loneliness when I know I can be left alone to be myself, the artistic self. I don't ever want that taken from me. And yet I sit here in bed waiting for my meds to kick in and put me to sleep. Then I'll be sedated for another 24 hours, running on caffeine, counting my calories, and keep myself moving around to stay awake. The cycle continues. There is always a cycle.