I sometimes like to walk around my house in the quiet dark. There is a sense of security seeing all my girls soundly asleep, the kitty curled up in Celeste's bed, the dogs snoring on their pillows, and my husband stretch out in bed breathing deeply, the sign that he is finally sleeping. I can hear a neighborhood dog casually barking at the night. The soft tick of the clock near the door. My mind is actually in a zen moment, feeling quiet for once. I have been grueling over the final exam questions all day, trying to get it done before the weekend is done. I delivered my last lecture yesterday evening and for the first time I moved through art history from Stonehenge to the Abstract Expressionist. All that is left is finishing up the exam questions before publishing on Canvas website.
Thoughts of work can be saved for tomorrow. And extra work it will be with three kids home all day. Maybe I'll go to my Mom's and let them fly free around her safe yard while I sit at her kitchen table struggling to get these questions and answers just right. I believe that will be the plan.
My Ambien is going to black me out any moment now. Last night I found myself hugging this laptop after I blacked out in mid sentence. Strong stuff, keeps the disturbing dreams low level. Prozac has the tendency to really enhance dream imagery. Makes for a rough night of sleep waking up to violent scenarios. And once I wake out of an Ambien sleep, I hardly ever get back to sleep.So Ambien take me away.
I'm starting to feel the slowness in my writing, probably time to go and find some rest.However, one more round around the house will feel tranquil, almost meditative. Go to sleep.......
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