Writing for Therapy

I was just reading in the BP magazine how writing is an effective tool for letting out feelings of depression or even highs. One tip is to write for 20 minutes without editing or worrying about how the words come out. So here I go -

I've been bored with taking showers. I don't like to stand in the hot water anymore. It's not that I have something better to do, I'm just bored. Or maybe I'm still in my unmotivated phase.

I actually felt the difference in breaking half of my Olazapine last night. I was worried about how my sleep would do but I did pretty well, even after sneezing in the middle of the night, I went right back to sleep. I didn't feel that hang over, sluggish feeling that I have been experiencing for the past two months. I wish I had done it earlier but I kept hoping it would ease up. It didn't. Now I'm hoping I haven't disrupted anything again. I at times will get on these what I call a "rebellious kick" and begin to mess with my treatment. I have a stubborn streak and it is still hard to accept that I have to do maintenance and that I will have relapses. It has taken some years to discover the pattern but my husband keeps an eye on me to make sure by stubbornness stays in check. I just hate taking medicine. I hate sounding like a skipping CD. I hate not having control over this condition because when I think things are going smoothly - BAM - a mood shift. Then I will question myself, question the medicines, question therapy, question if all of this trouble is worth it.

Right now I am at an okay place. Prozac is up to 40 and Zyprexa is at 2.5. Hopefully my therapist will be alright with that when I tell him this week. He knows my frustration. I've been extremely fortunate to have had the same therapist for 11 years. He has seen many sides of me. I almost kinda think of him like a big brother. He has that personality that shows he genuinely cares about you.

It's been 20 minutes and I'm getting sucked into watching the Celebrity Apprentice. Donald Trump just irritates me and yet I'm still watching. They're in the Board Room ready to argue and insult each other. Does this actually happen in the average board room?