I'm improving. The Ambilify is kicking in to where I don't feel tearful and discouraged. I'm moving around a bit more, time doesn't seem to drag. I still count down to bedtime when I can finally sleep and feel unstressed. I want to sleep all day. Lay in bed and watch TV. Moving around is just draining and I want that feeling to go away. I miss feeling energetic and motivated. I could handle one of my irritable episodes better than this depression. At least I would have some fire in me and I can always take a Xanax.
Writing this blog is draining but I'm trying to keep busy, forcing myself to do something. But I've been advised to take it easy and that it is okay because I'm still recovering. Steve described recovering as to a surgical procedure. Surgery would be alot easier to deal with, at least I would have a physical wound that would make sense. It would make more sense for Jared. He has been wonderful taking up the slack from me being down. He doesn't understand the feelings because it makes more sense to snap out of it. But he has participated in my counseling sessions lately and that has helped get a perspective of this illness. I'm lucky to have him. He has been so patient with me.
Well, I've seen some results. Still not quite there. Steve said to give it another week to see if my meds need more adjustment. They're causing mild nausea and the low blood sugar shakes which I'm hoping will be temporary while I get use to the drugs in my system. I have noticed I yawn more. I'm not sedated anymore by the Saphris so sleep has begun to allude me. Good reason for the daytime sleepiness.
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